Our family begins a new journey

The senior placement lottery has been the bane of my existence since the minute I started considering the Midwifery Education Program.

There is a lot of unpredictability in this program.  We relinquish a lot of control of our lives to the greater purpose of our schooling and the future that it will hold for us.  In second year, we awaited results from our first placement lottery with bated breaths.  But that placement only lasted 16 weeks.  16 weeks is do-able anywhere, really, given the necessity. 

This one, though, is the whammy.  The senior placement lottery is a placement that we're in for a whole  year.  And for many of us with families, the idea of not being placed in our home community is absolutely terrifying.

For at least a month before we found out our placement choices I had become obsessed with the "what if's".  I've lived in the same town, on the same property, since I was 19.  The entire history of our family is in this place.  Its the only home my kids have ever known.  My son was born here.  And as much as our family was growing out of our little cabin in the forest, it was in the forest (what better place?) and we've been surrounded by a loving and supportive community. 

But then I got the list of placement choices, and it did not include any options that would allow us to stay living here.  I knew it was going to be a possibility because I'd talked with the  midwives here in the last few months, but I was still clinging beyond hope that something would change.  In a way, finding that out then was a good thing.  We had the opportunity to pull out the map and really think about what community we wanted to move to (with a lot of restrictions, of course, since many practices in many communities don't always take students). 

And so, after debate and deliberation, we put in the "Top 4" choices, and I got my first one.  Of course, it wasn't my first choice, because my first choice didn't even make it on the list.  But it was my first choice, and so I can't complain too much.  Our family will be starting a brand new adventure in Guelph, Ontario for a year (or permanently....at this point, who knows?). 

At first, I was terrified.  I don't want to leave the forest. Rent is easily double in Guelph what we're paying right now.  I don't know hardly anyone that lives there. I really don't want to leave the forest.  My husband is going to have to basically re-start his business as a professional jembe player and teacher from scratch. I don't know anything about the midwives there.  I don't want to leave the forest! 

Aaah but the ideas are settling in.  A classmate emailed me the day after I found out where we were going about a friend's rental home and it is turning out to potentially be an absolute match made in heaven.  The landlords seem like very cool people, the local school is one of the best in the area, the house is absolutely us and it is a 3 minute walk away from my new clinic! We're going on Thursday to have a "real live" look at it and sign the lease.  I have never, ever lived so close to my work before.  It's going to be a real treat to entertain the notion of coming home on lunch breaks.  I think it's going to free up a lot more time for me to be with the kids and do mom stuff that I felt like I could never do when my workday didn't end until the end of my long commute.

We'll definitely have some adjusting to do, being on a main street in a city when we're used to silence all around us, but I think the trade offs are going to be worth it. 

And after all, the forest isn't going anywhere.  I'll make sure to come back and visit it often.  <sniff>